It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I hope mine doesn't look like that
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
