I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
