please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
