One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize