it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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