so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
