Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
