Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
