but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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