So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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