I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
be right there i have to get my cape
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
