she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When are your genitals available?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
