how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize