I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
