I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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