so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Randomize
