Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
