You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
