mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
