Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
