If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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