i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
