singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
