There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Randomize
