How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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