Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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