I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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