I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
