Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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