I love black thongs
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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