Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
