i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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