white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
