Porn is love you can see.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
