Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
