Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it glows. i had to have it.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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