we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
