how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
3pm strippers are depressing
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
