I never want to see another naked old woman again.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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