my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
