I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
