How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
They have beer where we have blood.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
