When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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