He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
