Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They are going to name an STD after you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
