glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
