and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
