We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
