Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
