Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize