If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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