We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
