Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
