i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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