My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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