ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
