I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
