Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
