I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
