i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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