question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
