Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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