he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize