I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
