Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
