I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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