dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
