i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
